Avoiding Middle Child Syndrome

Hi, today we found out you are going to have a little sister! Now we just wanted to let you know that we are going to do our best to avoid you falling into the middle child syndrome where you feel like your older sister gets all the perks and your younger sister gets all the attention.

Your current favorite book is

"Happy Birthday, Little Pook" by Sarah Boynton. You can pick the book out of the several dozen that sit on the bookshelf. While you can't read yet, you like flipping through the pages.

Presidential Election

Today, Donald Trump was elected president. I don't know what the future holds, but I hope things turn out right for all of us.

Happiness in a Swing

For you life is filled with simple joys... A couple of wishes on a Swing can make your day. Life might complicated sometimes in the future, but remember to give yourself these little moments of zen

Pizza with friends can be better than Cavier alone (most of the time)

Right now we are all eating top notch pizza, and I worry that I’m making you and your sister latent food snobs. While I want you to appreciate good food. I want you also to realize that sometimes it is ok to eat less than awesome food if it means spending an awesome time with friends and family. That doesn’t mean that I don’t personally enjoy doing/eating food alone - don't be afraid of being alone for short periods of time either, I find it quite rejuvenating as an introvert actually.

Just that you should be conscious and accepting of suboptimal circumstances when hanging out with friends. I hope that makes sense.

Fake it till you become it

This is actually based on a lot of scientific studies, but not only does our posture communicate non-verbal cues to others, it actually subconsciously guides our own emotions. I know it's weird, but our brains have trouble knowing what emotions we are feeling and takes cues from our own self-image to figure it you. So standing tall and proud will actually make you a little prouder and a little bolder. This is why gymnasts and swimmer do their victory pose BEFORE their routine... to be themselves in the best mindset. 

It's ok to cry

I just want to tell you that it is ok to cry, to feel sad if something bad happens or if things don't go your way, your ice cream falls on the ground, or if your soccer team loses. Crying is a natural human reaction and it always good to be aware and accept how you feel. However,realize that you will not always feel sad and wanting to cry. You feelings are like clouds floating by in the sky, they might block the sun for a while, but the sun is still there behind the clouds, and soon it will appear again. So too will you feel better and no longer sad.

Beloved posessions

Remember that all physical goods can be replaced - a favorite jacket, a nice bag. The reason that they become more precious is because they symbolize good memories and feelings from our past. However a lesson it took most of my childhood to realize is that they aren't the source of the good memories, they are just a reminder of those memories. That is part of the reason I like photography, it is an easier, more compact what for me to index into the vast library of my own memories. I hope you  to do not get too caught up in material possessions. #pseudobuddhism #materialworld

Self-perception

I use to scoff at all the focus on posture and sitting up straight... but now after years of flexibility training I have begun to notice the mind-body connection is not a one-way street. That your mind subconsciously uses sensations and positions of your body to influence what you perceive, feel and think

The human mind is a finicky, irrational thing. It has been shown that your are kind of bad are judging yourself and so sometimes you use your actions to judge your own character. Scientists have given people counterfeit bags and found that this influences their own self-perception and so they tend to cheat more.

http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/streams-of-consciousness/why-wearing-fakes-makes-us-cheat-more-excerpt/

Similarly, I have begun to believe that if you slouch and hunch your shoulders and back - you will unconsciously start to feel "slightly" more shy and cautious... but if you sit/stand up straight and walk like you have nothing to fear... you mind will unconsciously begun to take cues from your body on how to feel. Sometimes there can lead to funny results, where if you do something to heart beating quickly (like running around or crossing a cliff) ... and then meet someone, you will unconsciously find that person more attractive because your brain mistakes the increase heart rate and alertness are because of the person and not because you just ran around a lot

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misattribution_of_arousal
http://www.spring.org.uk/2012/04/what-the-love-bridge-tells-us-about-how-thoughts-and-emotions-interact.php

So I'm not advocating pretending to be something that you are not or "fake it until you make it". But that posture and body position matter... so before you want to do something challenging... try holding a victory pose with your arms outstretched. When walking... keep decent posture and stride as if you are carefree and light-hearted if you can...

Smells like Teen Spirit

I read that girls end up liking guys that smell like their father. If that's true I apologize.

Making (and losing friends)

As a child I used to say "I prefer friends... you get to pick them!" (versus family). That was a pretty mean thing for me to say... but now I know it goes both ways. You can have a falling out with your friends and stop being friends... but your family will always be there to support you in the end(even if they are mad at you). A lot of people "say" they want you to be happy and are really fun to be with when things are going well, but it's the people that stick with you during the bad times that are your true friends.

Be Bold (But Still Be Safe!)

I realize now that I have always been by-the-rules type of person and I think I might have been happier if I was willing to strike my own path a bit earlier in my life... to do things that scary and new. Now I don't mean smoking and drinking alcohols and BASE jumping off cliffs. I mean trying something new even though I might fail, talking to people even though I might stumble and feel silly, chasing more hopes and dreams... even if they might not become a reality.

Identity

For most of my childhood I always felt like an outsider. Part of it was because I was the child of immigrants in area where there weren't many Chinese families. Too American to be Chinese, too Chinese to be American, I strove to avoid being lumped into large categories that didn't fit me. Instead of piano or violin, I picked saxophone. Instead of tennis or soccer, I played ice hockey and did aggressive inline rollerblading (I doubt you know what that is). Anyways. I just wanted you know, that is ok if you ever feel like you don't quite fit-in. That eventually you will find yourself and your place in the world.